Brian Regan

Brian Regan is one of the funniest comedians you will ever see. Period. And he’s totally clean. Without dropping any F-bombs or talking about banging chicks, he elicits howls from all ages. Not just “ha-ha, he’s kind of funny,” but the “Oh my god, cover my ears so I can finally breathe!” type of laughter. His CD Brian Regan Live was a dorm room favorite in 1997. I know because that’s when all my friends and I would listen to it repeatedly in my dorm room and annoy everyone around us by imitating him relentlessly. There’s just something magical about the inflection of his voice that makes anything he says instantly hilarious.

One of eight children, Regan began doing comedy in 1981 when he was a student at Heidelberg College in Ohio. By 1988, he was a headliner, winning the K-ROCK/Miller Lite Funniest Person in New York contest.

With his first appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman” in 1995, Regan solidified his place on the show and recently made his 20th appearance. He also includes regular visits with Conan O’Brien on his schedule. Regan has been selling out theaters nationwide since 2005 — one of the only comedians ever to make the leap from comedy clubs to theaters without the exposure of his own TV show or film.

He appears at the Hanover Theatre on Friday, June 12, 8 p.m.

Home … Las Vegas

What do your kids tell their friends you do for a living? … My son, 10, says I’m a comedian. My daughter, 5, once said, “I like large dogs, small dogs, and comedian dogs.” So, I’m not sure what she thinks.

You currently live in Vegas with your wife and kids. What’s it like being the cleanest guy living in the city of sin? … Well, I’m not the “cleanest guy.” Just the other day a guy cut me off while driving. I yelled out the window, “Dang you anyhow! Jeepers creepers that’s questionable driving!”

You never swear on stage. Do you swear in real life? If not, what words do you throw in instead? … Yes, I swear in real life. I think the Pope would swear if he banged his pinky toe on the coffee table the way I did in the dark the other night.

Your job doesn’t start until about 8 p.m. What’s a typical day for you? … I wake at 7:30 pm. Take a shower. Go to work. Then I’m back in bed by midnight.

Is there a difference between the satisfaction you get from having a family and doing stand-up comedy? … Sure. My family doesn’t file out of the room when the show is over.

Elevator or stairs? … Depends: In a two-story house, I take the stairs. In the Empire State Building, I take the elevator.

When your wife makes you breakfast, what is it usually? … Egg Baskets. Her recipe: “Heat oven to 325-350. Take small glass Pyrex bowl, spray with butter Pam, place a piece of bread in bowl, pushing down so bread takes shape of bowl and looks like a basket. Crack egg and put in bread basket. Top with half slice of American or cheddar cheese. Sprinkle Lowry’s seasoning salt on it. Place Pyrex bowl with basket on cookie sheet. Cook anywhere from 12-18 min, depends on how you want the yolk — firm, cook longer, soft, cook shorter.” Not funny, but delicious!

Do you imbibe alcohol? What does Brian Regan drink? … I regularly drink a large schooner of a drink I call the Yowza — a splash of rum, a shot of whiskey, two shots of vodka, a pint of bourbon, a quart of grain alcohol, and gallon of moonshine.

What scares you? … A schooner of Yowza!

If you laid all your jokes end to end, how far would they go? … All the way around the globe ... I’m talking about the globe on my desk. o

— Nicole Luparelli